m i s c o m m u n i c a t i o n: i means you
the sentence in the bio is a problem; it shouldn't be happening but it does.
it's not hard to lose contact with people, especially if both sides aren't making the effort. it's popular to lose contact almost, can you imagine how big the graveyard of lost friendships would be? i mean, i have a fair share of ex best friends myself. and they weren't because of blatant differences. it was because our lives swallowed us whole.
it's a constant fear that i have. it has become more intense, since i'm so happy with my friend group right now. i'm closer to some of them more than others, but the love i have for them all is crazy and i don't want to scare them away. i don't want our lives to separate. and the truth is that it's a high probability, but solely because effort is not made. it's not an evil thing to admit that I didn't go out of my way to continue contact with someone. if it is true, then say it.
there is a lot of stigma that needs to be erased from beautiful things. things like deeply caring, or reaching out to the people you care about to the point where you are nearly reaching the line that might consider you annoying. but don't go over that line, and even then going over it isn't an excuse to end a relationship either if it's done without harm or repetition.
this is where my hope comes in, and also my references that are scrambled in my mind. considering miscommunication, i ponder the possibility of presenting yourself as something you're not, not intentionally of course. like the Japanese proverb that says you have three faces, "the first face you show to the world. the second face you show to your close friends, and your family. the third face, you never show anyone". it's debatable what the most important face is. but i'd love more than anything to broaden the first and second face. i'm not the most proud of the third face, that's the one where the miscommunication lies really. do you want to tell people the darkest secrets or thoughts that you have a hold of? whether they're embarrassing or not, i want to be able to have the same goals as all my faces, it seems the most fulfilling.
every person has these three faces, and of course has their unique experiences, and with that comes my next reference of a song called "Bruises", performed by Lewis Capaldi. he takes lyrics and really sells what he is saying. talking about never wanting to lose an experience with someone, regardless of how toxic it possibly was. saying, "i hope i never lose the bruises that you left behind". and then further with the line "even though i'm nothing to you now". it might be a jab to himself, but it encompasses relationship and that mean things might have been said or communicated that weren't necessarily desired. but something still had to be interpreted in order to learn. you may be over the person for great reasons, but still the talking and points came across at one point or throughout the whole thing. and it shows that there is some compassion involved still, whether it was one sided or not.
and, continuing on with compassion and caring, a Dr. Seuss quote comes to mind that i reconnected with when i watched The Lorax in a science class i took senior year. although the movie might deal with environmental issues more, it still coincides with communication and telling people exactly what you meant. it says, "unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better, it's not". if a person does not care to affiliate themselves with others, if they do not ask the wellness questions, then how can they truthfully show that they care or that something needs to be done? communication always has been the key, but how often does what you said not come out the way you meant it to? emotions can definitely boost the misunderstanding or how clear cut the information is to an individual. although contact with others is not that certain, promised, or concise really.
people who know me personally know that i have a bilingual family, and man can i tell you firsthand that miscommunication is evident. language barriers can be gruesome, they are one of the more obvious reasons things are not situated correctly. my dad and i, along with my two little sisters occasionally, always mix Spanish and English and try to come to a mutual understanding but it easily fails. it's so easy to completely do what my father had not wanted done. but there is an attempt, and it's gained strength throughout the years and it's something i am so grateful for. that we can still live somewhat sanely.
unification also is important when it comes to avoiding miscommunication. we are in this together, is something that is not a foreign topic. i'm always reminding my close friends and family that they have people, they have outlets and chances to go out and do crazy fun things. relationships do not need to meet a demise, it's such an unnecessary thing that happens a lot.
one thing that is always discussed is how no one can understand the things that you have been through. no one can give you true advice, because they haven't been through what you have or aren't even a runner up to how severe it is. it's molded you as a person, and you wish you had anyone to talk to, but they would never understand and never experience it. you know what? yes they will never experience what you did. they will never take what you went through, and hold your hand throughout it and see through your spectacles. that's unrealistic. but do you know what's more tangible? pushing. them. away. isn't it about time that that wasn't a norm?
it can also be noted that they may not be able to see your life through your eyes, but that does not mean that they're not willing to make an attempt. to try and perceive your life just through listening and letting the information sink in. and then eventually the things you go through will be theirs too.
writing will never be perfect, as much as i wish mine was. the fact that my writing is often centered around my personal experiences, my feelings, my opinions. it wouldn't take much to go back and count how many i's i've used just in this entry alone and cringe. writing using possessiveness always seems to spill out of my mind, and i'm not the only one who does this. but when my thoughts are considered, the points that i want to make are anything but just for me. as i pointed out before, i'm a fan of a lot of people. some considered mediocre, but i've watched their interviews and i've come up with the attributes that they carry and i analyze whether i like them or not. looking back on a specific one with these three YouTubers, two being a set of twins (their names aren't going to be mentioned because anonymity is preferred by me when it comes to these even though it might be obvious to some), i've really been comforted with one of the things that was said. one of the twins had gone on to discuss their lives before YouTube; what they've always wanted or how people treated them before they became mainstream. he kept using "i" instead of saying "we". The other YouTuber who was interviewing them had caught light of this and asked whether or not this was intended and if the twin had meant them both. he smiled at this question and confirmed it easily. it's not that he was thinking solely about himself as he was talking, it's just the presence of the other twin was obvious and the things that they went through had made them come to the same conclusions. they had both been there, both came to the realization of certain topics, and accepted who they were and who they were about to become.
it might seem stupid to think of it this way, but so many people always discuss themselves, including me. maybe some of them aren't thinking about themselves specifically, they're just comforted with saying that because of how familiar it is to say "i" or "me". you always know what you want right? and you have people who want the same thing in your life, right?
applying empathy to "i" and associating it with everyone makes me so happy. i am not in this alone, i want nothing more than for people to deeply understand.
simple as that. as always, talk to your people, live the way you want to, but you are never in this alone. people will know you, especially if you boost the thought processes of you each time.
talk to me. talk to we.
[photo 1 was originally four pictures that i had found on Facebook, someone had reposted them and i made that collage and reposted it as one. helps how easy it is to feel that way and reject it at the same time.]
[photo 2 is my dad and i. it is fitting for a lot of reasons; father's day is the 17th! also because he is a wicked pain to talk to but if it was any different life would be a lot less interesting.]
