Group chat escapades.
I don't know why that makes me feel like I've invented something, but what I mean by that is my recollection of befriending people through group chats. I have added people on social media apps solely because of what they said in the chat. I related over what they distributed there, and that was it. I'll let you in on a little secret-- my last two "relationships" stemmed off of group chats (I was laughing as I was writing that). I added them after they seemed like an outcast, because I've always outcasted myself, and it felt good that I could see that maybe somebody knew what I was talking about- even if it wasn't a molecular understanding, but a mere oversight.
I personally do not think it was a mistake to message them, to talk to them and be so interested with the new and somehow oddly familiar. I think it was a mistake to perceive them as a certain person, and then drive the idea of them into cement and not accept that they could be anyone else.
I see that now more as I'm building up one of my social platforms I deleted early last year, and I'm going back to following all the old people I had on my old account. I also see it on Facebook, as I'm playing this questionnaire game with people I thought I knew like the back of my hand. I've surprised myself with the knowledge that I have acquired throughout the years of knowing them, but I've also surprised myself with just how much I do not know about them. It's refreshing, really.
My best friend and I had a conversation about the game, her explaining how idiotic it was, and she literally sent me a message that said "...Idk if i see you different than you portray yourself or what but damn." Honestly, I most likely do. People often look in the mirror at themselves and they do not see what others see. Catfishing people seems like something that has always been around, even before the Internet. It's not intentional, though.
Many people have looked at me, and they don't remember me for my inability to shut up, and my struggle with my hair, which I think those attributes are the most notable. They remember me from my inability to speak AT ALL, and my curls that I get complimented on nonstop. I've heard a lot of people say they have nothing bad to say about me, but man I think that's the biggest load of horse feces that I've ever heard. I talk about myself way too much, and I barely know the definition of a secret. But I'm not here to mock their interpretation of me. I want them to actually do just that; but also read me for things that are less blatant. I want to do the same for them.
People, including me, never give themselves the time to.
People are quick to fall, endlessly, but little do they know there's a trampoline at the bottom of the pit, and it's going to catch what you didn't know or like about the person, and it's going to catch the things you knew and have loved about people.
People don't stick around to wait for the trampoline. They wait for a wall. They wait for an opening to halt their fall, to pause it, to let them fall for other people. It's a common theme with the young people. How about the young ones that don't want that?
Beggars can't be choosers, but can we be waiters? Not the kind to serve a table, and do all of the superhuman tasks the job description sometimes forgets to include, but the kind where patience is the mindset?
This is for my people who thoroughly want the months to change to years (I stole that off of a picture, but now I'm curious who the author of the quote is). This is for the people who don't want to know what your favorite color is, but they want to know the way you sleep. They want to know what music speaks to you, not the ones on the radio that you could sing like there's no tomorrow. They want to know what irks you, and explain to others specifically why it does.
You're not going to know that with only three months between the two of you.
People also change! That's a wild concept. I've heard it takes three years to know someone, but also four months to fall in love with someone. If you don't know the person, who are you falling in love with?
Your crazy perception of them. Wait until your perception is accurate. Wait until you can accommodate one another. That's what everything is about. It's not about changing for someone, it's about accommodating someone. Being able to match up with them, but not forcing it.
No one is asking you to force yourself to be around people who you aren't compatible with. No one is forcing you to get into a relationship or start a friendship with someone just because it's convenient, or you feel like the right person or people will never come around. Because truth is, there isn't a wrong or right time. There is a time that doesn't occur, but other than that you're pretty much free to let days pass with whomever you want.
But don't get to know people, and have an idea about them, without establishing tangible evidence. You wouldn't do that with a homework assignment, a task given to you at work, an art project in regards to creating something. People tend to drift to concepts or ideas that are tangible. So do not make getting to know people a special circumstance.
Prove yourself wrong. It is certainly not a crime to.
Give. People. Time.
Last Minute Honorable Mention of a Song: M83- Wait
Set your dreams where nobody hides
Give your tears to the tide
No time
No time
There's no time to tell people your darkest secrets, or so we think. Yet there's no demise for getting to understand people. And with that, a song I love has just gotten better. Listen to it.
[I chose to include for this entry's logo a collage of my best friend and I. I'm going to say a statement that would make the both of us laugh for reasons hard to explain but it is so true: she is my rock. The ten year challenge, if I decided to participate in that, would have her in both pictures, and would probably be the most accurate depiction of who we are, and where we've been. This is my person I've learned to know things people wouldn't know by looking at her. I've learned to mesh the way we speak together because we almost act the same, we almost want to stand up for the same things. She is the person I've waited to grow with, and get to know. Much love to you and everyone reading this. Wait. Years spent with people in general freaking feel so accomplishing, it's really worthwhile.]