And is she perfect?
The same people I meet frequently are the same people who bullied that couple on Tik Tok who did the love surge and I am almost certain the woman posted a video crying about it. My honest opinion? Every single one of y’all are trash for doing that to her. Not to mention weird. And disrespectfully, I promise your breath stinks just as much as your opinion.
And yes I just stooped down to your level. Sue me.
I speak of specificity and would like to broaden that topic. I can say that there are always certain situations where I will stoop to your level, and others where I will ignore you. The ebb and flow, the push and pull? I strive to accomplish this in all social situations. I’m unpredictable. And I should be celebrated for being unpredictable as much as the predictable people are celebrated. The fun part is also getting to know the quirks of people.
You are missing out if you don’t appreciate a situation, and get shivers down your spine because of your observation. I’m in my learning brain, which painstakingly comes with entering new territory in my life personally. My learning mentality seeps through the cracks of a sidewalk like a stubborn ass flower when I have considerable changes in my life. Let me be specific for the sake of this entry: I have a new partner and a new job. I am incredibly open and warm hearted thinking about finally having a healthy relationship with both areas in my life. Like clockwork, I could feel my life was becoming stagnant with those two areas.
In my learning mindset, I am always so disappointed in the events that pass where I couldn’t predict everything. Which, spoiler alert, is every single one. I am certified in being annoying and having first hand embarrassment. I hope to wear these attributes on a badge someday. Speaking of badges… does anyone else take horrendous professional pictures for identification cards? And then you want to face plant the wall regardless of what you look like in it? Which, argumentatively, you look like the ugly stick beat you to a pulp. Just me? Okay.
Speaking of just me, my heart is BIG. No changing that. Someone needs to help me pull niceness out of everyone. I need cheat codes. I’m sifting, searching, wading in vast waters of personalities and affirmations almost every second of every day. I am frequently disappointed. I don’t want to not greet people walking into a room, which has been a theme recently with meeting new people. I want to share small smiles with strangers, and not secret words, enemies starting to undulate with people I haven’t even fucking started talking to. I’ve witnessed this often with others though. It bewilders me how someone can enter a room, look at a coworker and say, “what up strangers?” And not be weird about it. Y’all are genies.
I can barely greet someone with a “how are you?” Is this a me problem? Absolutely. But why am I so susceptible for not only accepting how other people interact, but preferring it or adoring it? Love me, dammit.
Love differences. I am kind of sick of writing the same thing but in a million words. And at the same time I love it. Because if I approach a specific situation in three different ways, I can touch corners of souls no one else has. I can retain this information, I can filter, I can code switch! Do you know what code switching is? It’s the way you talk/hold yourself according to where you are and who you’re around. I take everything so literally, so my code switching I fear is blatantly clear. Other people know how to blend edges, but not I.
I am the TALKER in my family. The mediator. The open book. The solution maker.
I am SILENT in the workplace. I follow rules, and make two out of 13 relationships goofy, and I isolate myself at the very mention of a problematic predicament in the workplace.
Who the hell is Aaliyah?
She’s specific. As much as my code switching is black and white, there’s color in there. I don’t like this one coworker and god forbid I’ll ever get around to understanding them, but when they smile, and genuinely smile, it is so beautiful. I love this one coworker, they’re absolutely hilarious and have the perfect body in my opinion, but their mediation, empathy, and softness need work as they look at the playing field as an even one, which isn’t the case and never will be.
My Irish twin is so beautiful. She is so admirable to watch work, and speak. But if I ever want any sense of understanding from her, any problem solving in any analytical manner, I know not to seek her out. It’s just how it is.
Three powerful applicable examples. All with varying relationships that I have worked on. And so have they. I appreciate their lives because they deserve to live the way they want and so do I. I more than appreciate them, I use specification to in depth understand and take my bias or judgment and stand on both of those words’ necks and breathe little to no air into them.
No room for indifference, baseline acceptance, and the seeking of instant gratification.
Every room for acknowledgment, celebration, and working at relationships every millisecond of every day.
You and your family, your friends, your acquaintances, your coexisting humans deserve to have people in their life who love the pros and cons of you as much as you yourself feel in your bones that your hard work should be adored. At the very least.
[Image Description: It is a page in a book in a dim lit room. On it is a stunning quote roughly translated from Spanish by me to English (bear with me native Spanish speakers I am just a baby Spanish speaker w 5 years under my belt). And is she perfect? Well… she has messy hair, talks non stop, laughs like she’s crazy, daydreams and drinks coffee. Um? You heard it here folks, this was sent to me by my boyfriend and he couldn’t get more specific than that. He is my #1 fan and I am his. Clearly since I haven’t shut the f*ck up about it since my entry Make Room for You. He’s been laced through the lines of all my recent entries like a sun of a gun. My heart is FULL as my 54-year-old wackadoodle aunt would say. To drive the point of this entry home, you and your family deserve to know all the ins and outs of you and to love them. Every word of every sentence of mine you will find pieces of me that I have left in the world with other people. I am made up of some badass people who deserve to be cherished from all backgrounds. Okay— picture me slapping my hands together in a quiet room telling you this: Go touch some grass. Buy an acquaintance a sunflower pin because she told you one day she liked your shirt because it was as yellow as the sunflowers in the field she likes to take pictures in!]